It is true, and it must be added to the conversation. Please know, however, that those who have this character are not all. I have evidence that it is less that half of men. Still, even ten percent would be horrible, and a tragic statement about the human species.

I have shared this story before on Medium. When I was as college freshman in 1974 at Cornell, a private group rented one of the school auditoriums and showed a porn film. I had never seen a porn movie before, and all my friends were going, and I went as well, and the place was jammed to capacity — surely more than 800 students, all male as far as I could tell. The movie was Super Vixens.

During the film I enjoyed the naked scenes, but then there was a scene in which a naked woman in a bathtub was stomped to death by a man. I had to look away. I was shocked: the nexus of sex and violence was completely new to me: I had never before known that there are others who think of sex in terms of violence. I remember looking around to see what the reactions of others were, and I made a best effort count of the percent of young men who were also looking away. It was about 50%. The other half were glued to the movie screen.

Whether those who were still watching were enjoying it I don’t know, but I do know that it was not so terrible that they had to turn away. We must be careful about jumping to conclusions, however, because I turn away from any violence in a movie — not just violence against women — but my wife does not, and she is definitely not a violent person. So continuing to look does not mean you enjoy it.

Your essential point is right: there are men who enjoy violence. I don’t know if it is just against women. Perhaps they perceive women to be weaker, and that is part of it. But they are out there. I don’t know the percentage. It is less than half, but I don’t know if it is 1% or 50%. You see, those people don’t perform their cruelty unless they think they can get away with it. Most acts by men against women are done in private, so that other men cannot step in. Or they are done when among other men who have been tested to have the same views.

Rest assured that there are many men on your side — at least half — but there are also many out there who do in fact enjoy seeing violence, even if or perhaps even because it is against women. And because acts against vulnerable people are so horrific, it makes it seem like it is everyone, but it is not. Most people — including at least half of men — are disgusted by it.