I was highly ADHD. I was not diagnosed — back in the early ’60s they did not have that diagnosis; but my pattern of behavior clearly indicates ADHD: I was not allowed to have lunch in school because I caused too much trouble. In class, the teacher was a talking head, none of whose words reached my brain — I was always thinking about something else.
If you think about it, the idea that young children can sit in a room all day and pay attention to an adult explaining things seems incredible — why would children be willing to do that? I think that those children who can sit like robots all day, listening and cooperating, might be the ones who have something wrong with them!
One does not outgrow ADHD. It is a lifelong trait. What happens — without medication — is that one eventually learns how to work around it. I was a terrible student until 9th grade, when suddenly I realized that while I could not pay attention in class, I could learn my subjects by reading the textbooks. I became self taught, and almost overnight became a straight-A student who went on to get a BS in physics and two masters degrees from an Ivy League school.
To this day, I have trouble paying attention in meetings: my workaround is that I try to find something interesting in whatever is being discussed. ADHD people have laser-like focus in things that they are interested it: it is only things that do not interest them that they cannot pay attention to.
Your son might benefit from a “forest school”. Forest schools are schools that keep children outdoors for much of the day. Much of the instruction occurs outdoors. Distraction helps ADHD people: it makes the situation more interesting, and continual small distractions enable them to stay engaged. I know that is counter-intuitive, but it is true. ADHD people often use humor to make things interesting: it can be disconcerting to others — to have someone making jokes while discussing something serious — but they are merely trying to stay engaged.
The disadvantage of drugs is that your son might not learn how to live with ADHD. As I said, it does not go away. It moderates with age, but I am talking about a-lot of age — like one’s forties and fifties. Your son will deal with ADHD for all of his prime years. He really needs to learn how to live with it.
