Ella this is chilling to read. My wife deals with eating disorder patients. They sometimes die.

What I find promising in your account is your ability to look at the situation scientifically - to analyze it from a distance. As humans - and unlike animals - we have a cognitive ability to override our innate drives, including self-destructive ones.

You have a brilliant mind: I read your articles often. I hope that you continue to use that mind in every way available to you, including taking care of yourself.